Launching Romance into the stars.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Happy April Fools.

            An April Fool’s Day joke.
            Okay, there was this blonde, she walked into a bar and went ouch.

            I just know someone out there is scratching their head and saying, “I don’t get it.” That’s okay, give it a minute. *snickers*
             Alright, alright, so I’m not the best jokester, but I do enjoy my humor. When Olivia suggested the Getting Naked In April Blog Hop, I couldn’t resist—signing up, not getting naked. Let’s talk about the day first, and then I’m going to share a little of the sneaky humor in my Edge Carnality series.  

            Well, to understand the origins of April Fools, you have to know a bit about it. Way back, sometime around 1582 in France, the Gregorian calendar was changed and with this change, April 1st was no longer considered New Year’s Day.
            Because folks didn’t have cell phones, word about the change didn’t get around in a speedy manner. For years, many continued to celebrate April 1st as the New Year. These folks were called fools by the better informed. From there, the holiday became a day of practical jokes, a time to become the tricked and tricksters.

            In many of my stories I like to have a touch of humor. I love subtle humor, the kind that you’ll read, and five pages past, hits you, aka, dry humor. Sometimes I go for a slow punch line, and sometimes it’s in your face.

            My Edge Carnality stories are no exception. In Carnal Desires, Mercedes, a good girl, finds herself in the back of an adult toy store holding a giant vibrator.

            She tried to set it down but couldn’t. The desire to hold it a little longer engulfed her. It continued to buzz, vibrating in her hand. Her thumb slid along a button, increasing the speed. The head undulated faster, drawing her deeper into its hypnotic dance. Mesmerizing.
            Sin in her palm, the four rows of beads spun around the silicone member underneath a thin skin of soft rubber. A little red devil, a clit stimulator buzzed with excitement, ready for more action than she thought she was capable of giving him.

            What would it be like to do something a little naughty? Something completely wrong and out of character. Her thighs clenched and she closed her eyes. Two guys at once. Maybe a woman. If only she’d been more adventurous, Kevin would have never have left her for that—sl…other woman.

           Something that smelled like warm chocolate, musk, and sex wafted across the air from behind her. Mercedes lifted her nose, inhaling. Keeping her eyes closed, she let the combination soak into her. Incense? Who cared—it was—decadent. A fluttering started in her pelvis and heat balled in her belly. It had to be the sexiest thing she’d ever….

            “Would you like a demonstration?” asked a voice that could only be described as an erotic growl, made even more so, coming from heated lips pressed against the sensitive flesh of her ear.

Busted! Can 't you just feel the heat in her cheeks?
In Carnal Attraction, Jezebel is on the prowl. Here, she brings home dinner.


            “Good.” She leaned in, hooked her bra top around the back of his neck, and pulled him into a kiss hot enough to melt him in his boots. Seconds later she released her top, leaving it draped on his shoulders. “Meet me out back in five minutes,” she eyed his buddies, “—alone.”
            Jezebel rolled to her heels and rose to her feet, slowly sashaying her way back from where she’d come.

            As she passed Azael who crunched on an apple, while leaning against a wall that led to the changing rooms, she reached out and brushed her fingers across his jaw. “I’ve brought take-out.”

            He grinned and tossed the apple over his shoulder. “American?”

            “An MRE,” she said as she exited into the back room.

            Hu-ah. Three guesses what Jezebel is doing and who her target is.
            And last but not least, Carnal Denial. The hunters become the hunted, but my demons know a thing or two about survival, and there’s nothing in the rule book that says they have to play fair. Virgin demon slayers are dangerous and Jezebel plans to do something about that.

            As it ebbed, they stared into each other’s eyes, panting to catch their breath. Mike didn’t say anything, but held her pinned against the hood of her car, her legs wrapped around his waist, her torn panties hanging off her left ankle like a banner of surrender. Neither said anything, staying where they were until it stopped. Too late to change her mind. Too late for regrets. And she didn’t care. Jezebel and Azael had never harmed her, or anyone that she could tell.

            So, leave a comment for your chance to win one of my Decadent Edge e-stories, Carnal Desires, Carnal Attraction, or Carnal Denial. I’ve also included a $10.00 Amazon gift card to sweeten the pot. Tell me a joke. Give me a funny line from one of your favorite books. Do you like your humor subtle or in your face? Give me your best April Fool’s joke. Now for more April Fool's surprises, make sure you hop back to:



Unknown said...

Wow sounds fantastic!

Happy walker said...

Happy April Fools~~ have a nice day ~ =)

Regards, (A Growing Teenager Diary) ..

Unknown said...

Getting hot!!!

Jessica E. Subject said...

April Fools has never really been a big deal for me, but I love the idea of this blog hop.

All the best!

Julianne said...

Wonderful excerpt, I really enjoyed it. I like to read books that give me a little chuckle every now and then. It just adds to the book. Thanks for sharing.
luvfuzzzeeefaces at yahoo dot com

JoAnne Kenrick said...

Read the first one in your Carnal Desires, and I totally plan on reading the others. I just love the length of these little hotties! Even when I'm pushed for time, I've always got an hour to spare to read an Edge story WOOT

Jennifer Probst said...

Looks so good I can't wait to get my hands on them. The stories!

D L Jackson said...

They're great when you're looking for a quick fix. Every now and then I'll start reading a series of shorts, just to get a little reading in between all the other craziness. My first published story was a short, and writing them has taught me alot about tightening up a manuscript. They're great to read if you want to see how to write the smaller stories too. It truely is an art.
Thanks for stopping by, everyone. Keep the comments coming. You have until the 5th to get in on the giveaways.

bas1chs said...

Oh, wow! I wish I had a joke for you but I am so not funny. I do like laughing at others' jokes.
These excerpts are great. One recent line I read that made me smile because of the image was in Lorelei James' Corralled: "Her resistance lasted two month. The square-jawed, sloe-eyed sweet talker had literally charmed the pants right off her in a bathroom stall at Denny's outside Chula Vista." Can't help it but it makes me smile - though I have never felt the need to be taken in a stall at Denny's: I can hold off until we get to the parking lot, thankyouverymuch.

lisagkendall said...

Thanks for the info on the new line and on your stories, and love your humor, took me and the hub a few minutes to get the April Fool's joke, but it finally came. I already bought both books and I can't think of any April Fool's humor. lisagk(at)yahoo(dot)com

Anonymous said...

lmao Love the joke, and I love trivia! Now I know the origin of April Fool's Day :D

Thanks for taking part and getting naked with us!

ParanormalRomanceFan said...

Hello DJ,

I would very much appreciate a comment chance to win one of your Decadent Edge e-stories, Carnal Desires, Carnal Attraction, or Carnal Denial & also a $10.00 Amazon gift card, what a Very Generous Gift.

Now time for your Joke:

The Goodnight Kiss

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home.

They are about to kiss each other goodnight, but the guy is feeling a little horny.

With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her "Darling, would you give me a blow job?"

Horrified, she replies "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

Him: "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"

Her: "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"

Him: "Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"

Her: "No way. It's just too risky!"

Him (horny as hell): "Oh please, please, I love you so much!"

Her: "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"

Him: "Oh yes you can. Please?"

Her: "No, no. I just can't"

Him: "I beg you... "

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pyjamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says:

"Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for god sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom.."

Take You & Stay Naughty,
PaParanormalFan (Renee’ S.)

D L Jackson said...

ROFL. Booyah!
That's the stuff.

steph beck said...

Fantastic!! Congrats on the smokin new series. My favorite line in a book is in Carolina Moon by Nora Roberts...when one of the main guy threatens another very colorfully with many direct threats to his balls. It made me smile :)

Stephanie Beck

D L Jackson said...

JoAnne, you are the winner of my post. I'll be contacting you soon.